Silver Zampaktuo
by Lightning Ink
Summary: Man cannot solve everything on their own. They must call upon death. However, when death fails, it calls upon a Guardian. Official Prequel to the Guardian Cycle.


Prologue

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"I have no idea. I just heard him talking about this..."

"Right. Make the call."

The white-haired captain shook his head. "I don't know the number. You're the one who bypassed Genryusai-Sensei to get to this phone."

"All right, all right. Let's see. Two, nine, one, one, six, four, nine, and another six…"

"_Hello. You've reached the office of the Seventh Director of All Guardians. This is Melody speaking. How may I help you?"_

"How did you get in here?"

The two captains swerved to look at the Captain-Commander, glaring at them. "I asked you a question."

"_Hello? Is there anyone still there? This phone number is registered to Retired Shadow Guardian Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto, Divine Flame. Is there a reason that you have called us today?_"

The aged shinigami sighed and shunpoed over to the phone, snatching it away. "Yes, this is the Divine Flame. I am sorry for my subordinates making this call. However, assistance is not needed at this-"

"_Sir, I regret to inform you that once someone makes this call, assistance must be deployed as per standard regulations. We have a very limited number of available squads right now, as most of them are out on sealing and patrol duty. You should see a list of unoccupied squads at the bottom of your dial._"

Yamamoto sighed and banished the two from his private quarters. It had just been too _convenient_ that Kenpachi and Byakuya had gotten into a huge brawl, taking out a better part of the constantly-rebuilt Eleventh Division Quarters. It had been so large, it had drawn in Yamamoto himself, allowing for Shunsui and Jushiro to slip in unnoticed.

"Fine. Fine." He sighed, feeling his age sink in again. "Send me the Incomplete Squad Lightning."

* * *

Toshiro Hitsugaya was in a less than ideal mood.

Hardly surprising, as the youngest captain was not known for his geniality, but he was in an extremely sour mood today.

"My, my, Toshiro-kun. What's with the bad mood today?"

"It's Hitsugaya-Taicho." The captain replied automatically. "And someone stole my breakfast, so not only did I have to do a bunch of paperwork, I'm hungry on top of that."

"TAICHO!"

Toshiro sighed. "And here comes-"

_Boing_!

"Trouble. Matsumoto, get off of me."

"But don't you like it, Taicho?"

"Of course not! GET OFF!"

Shunsui just chuckled and downed some more sake, choking when his own fukutaicho whacked him on the back of his head with her book. "Ne, Nanao-chan? What was that-"

_**WHACK! BAM! SMACK! CRUNCH!**_

The flowery captain twitched on the ground, smoking slightly after the beating that the strict woman had given him. "That's an advance payment for what you might do today."

With that, she stalked forward toward the meeting that Yamamoto had called for all the remaining Taicho and Fukutaicho.

In the centuries that have passed since then, historians still haven't figured out whether this was a good decision or not.

* * *

"Now that we have everyone here, it is time to call this meeting to order. Following the betrayal of Ichimaru, Tosen, and Aizen," He growled, getting angry just at the thought of those three, "Our numbers are depleted. Thanks to _somebody_," At this, he shot a glare at a sheepish Jushiro and a still twitching Shunsui, "We now have reinforcements."

"Reinf-"

At that, the two double doors burst open, letting in a huge spurt of sunlight that momentarily blinded everyone inside.

"Ah! Yamamoto! Great to see you again! I thought you would never call my uncle for a mission! Nat was driving me insane!"

As they got used to the light, they realized that it came, not from the sun as they had first thought, but rather a set of shining armor, a small orange patch slurping away at a bowl.

"Gah! This ramen is dastardly!"

"Shut up, Toe. You've been eating it for the past half hour."

"That's because it tastes like bark and is about as chewy! If the lord knew about this-"

"He would blame you, for stealing it from that kid." Josh sighed as he swung the doors shut behind him, sighing again as he took a draught from his hip flask. "After all, you pride yourself on being able to eat any kind of ramen…? Hey, what's with all the ice?"

They both turned to see Toshiro glaring daggers at both of them, his Zanpakuto drawn. "Soten no Zaze, Hyorinmaru!"

'Naruto' threw his ramen in the air, flipped though a few seals, and spat a fireball right back at the incoming ice dragon, the two canceling each other out. He then caught the bowl of ramen and continued attempting to eat it. "May divine retribution strike you do-"

Josh kicked him back though the doors, still managing to hold onto the bowl of ramen. "PUT THE IDIOT BACK ON!"

"And the lord said yes!"

The swordsman sighed and took another deep draught from his hip flask, frowned, shook it, clipped it back on his belt, and took out another one. Taking a deep draught, he sprayed it everywhere and poured the rest on the ground. "The hell… ANTIFREEZE! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"

With that, he took off after the airborne figure, screaming, "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, KI! I'LL RIP YOU A NEW-"

The assembled Shinigami could only stare at the two retreating figures, one shouting obscenities that made even Kenpachi blink, the other laughing loud enough to shatter several panes of glass, even at this distance.

"Taicho and fukutaicho, may I introduce our backup, the Incomplete Squad Lightning."

* * *

Josh, with his superior speed, finally caught up to Naruto after five minutes of flashing around, and true to his threat, tried to rip him a new, well. Let's not go there, but you get the point, no?

"Ah. Sorry 'bout that," the swordsman said, staring at the food that was part of the welcoming feast. "That's the first time _that's_ happened. Usually, it's just some castor or cod liver oil. Never got antifreeze past me before."

"That's because you were too busy bitching at Jabba to notice!"

"Shut up! Do you _know_ how much he was trying to charge me for that LDNA chip?"

As the two started bickering again, Shunsui, who was already somewhat inebriated, stumbled over to the two, plopped down next to them, and handed them both a gourd of sake, drinking from his own.

"I welcome you! I hope we will become the most bosom-"

_**WHAM!**_ "Nanao-chan?"

"That's enough, taicho. Get back to your seat."

Soifon, who had been quietly eating, tapped Yamamoto's shoulder. "Sir, we _are_ in the middle of a crisis. Is it really necessary to hold a feast?"

The commander looked up gravely from his tea, refusing food altogether. "It is tradition," he grumbled, "To feed the guardians that you hire when they first get to the place of employment. Many a time did I go hungry, and I do not wish that upon these two."

Josh, on the other hand, gobbled down two more pies before burping, wiping his mouth, and replacing his helmet. "Thanks for the food. Now, give me a sit-rep."

"Show some respect-"

Yamamoto waved her off. "We have had three taicho desert. What they are planning, we do not know. However, I would like to station one of you in the physical world, and one of you here, in case he tries to invade directly."

Josh stretched. "I'll head to the physical world. Naruto, you stay here and keep an eye on comm back to central. If anything comes up, give me a heads up. Usual channels."

"Yeah, yeah…"

The swordsman blinked and kicked the blond. "One 'Yeah' will do the trick. Now, erm, how do I get to the physical world?"

The soutaicho chuckled. "If you are anything like your father and uncle, you'll need pick up on reiatsu first. It would be rather difficult for you to fight purely on Guardian Energy."

"Yeah… that might be smart…"

* * *

"Bakudo no Ichi: Sai!"

Josh swore as a rather pathetic thread of reiatsu spurted like a shot of silly string, forming a weak loop on a cup that he was aiming at.

"Maa, maa. Having trouble there?"

The swordsman spun, drawing his sword in the same motion. "Damn it! Don't do that! One of these days, I'm gonna take a head off by accident!"

Shunsui didn't flinch as Josh resheathed his sword. "Looks like you're having some trouble there. Need a couple of pointers?"

"Yeah…" Josh grunted, raising his hand. "Bakudo no Ichi: SAI! SAI! S-Fucking-AI!"

"Here." Shunsui pointed a single finger. "Bakudo no Ichi: Sai."

Josh dropped his energy filter. "Oohhhhh… so you have to precharge the attack at the point of launch. That makes things a lot easier. Here, let me try it again."

He closed his eyes, focusing his energy into his left index finger. "Bakudo no Ichi: SAI!"

This time, the energy lasso looped around the cup, crushing it into dust.

"Yeah… beast! Now, for an offensive spell."

Josh pointed his left finger at Naruto, who was quietly napping on a stone bench, curled up into a ball. "Hado no Yon: Byakuari!"

The cursing and retaliatory fire could be heard from across the Seireitei.

* * *

Yamamoto shook his head at the reports. After Josh had fired his Byakuari at Naruto, the blond had returned fire with a firing squad of two hundred kage bunshin and Bullet Rasengan. While this did minimal damage to his target, it did manage to tear the hell out of the Eleventh's Barracks.

There went two weeks of their operating budget. Admittedly, the vast majority of their budget was allocated to sake and rebuilding anyway.

"What the hell? That woulda hurt!"

"You seem strong! FIGHT ME!"

Josh sidestepped another strike, shaking his head and firing off kido, which just seemed to ricochet off the man's skin. "Goddamnit, I don't want to fight!"

Zaraki's sword finally made contact, skidding off Josh's energy shield in a flurry of sparks. "Quit running like a little bitch!"

The swordsman had finally had it. "A little bitch? A LITTLE BITCH! COME HERE YOU OVERGROWN PLUSHIE! I'LL SHOW YOU A LITTLE BITCH!"

* * *

Byakuya's eye twitched.

He was twitching at the sight of his destroyed barracks, whose smoldering remains sent huge plumes of smoke high into the sky, blotting out the sun at times.

"You. Are. Dead."

* * *

Just a quick prologue to tease what's coming up next.


End file.
